Put it on the card.

Introducing the Ivory Visa.

Think back. Think waaaaaaaaay back. Think back to December 2008.  Automobile companies and financial institutions had been given a new lease on life, “Swine Flu” was coming, and most importantly, the massive preparations of the following month’s inauguration were being implemented.  The world was buzzing with the forthcoming American changing of the guard. Change was arriving and we as a nation were told the racial barrier had fallen.

But had it? The talking heads spoke of “political capital”.  They said the President could do almost everything that the “Change Mandate” allowed. Health care? No problem! Closing Gitmo? Easy! Building a new Green economy? Already in the works! President Obama had almost 67 million voters behind him and that was good enough to move mountains.

Here’s the problem. 58 million people didn’t want any part of this so called mandate.  They had a list of reasons why they didn’t want Barack Obama.  We all know them. Many were valid. Some were not. We all heard the jokes and some statements that were phrased in a joke form.  It’s the “feeding the dog a pill surrounded by peanut butter”.  The Tea Party showed up driving their Toyota’s and wearing their Chinese made tea bags screaming about how they wanted their county back. Never mind they don’t know the difference between  Communism and Socialism or that if the US had actually turned “red” overnight they wouldn’t be allowed to voice their opinion in public. Take a look at what the Iranian Green party is going through and then come back to me with your book report on how your life sucks.

Well, not to let the facts get in the way of a lopsided opinion, how was the extreme right wing going to take down the newly elected President’s political capital? I introduce the new Ivory Visa.

It seems like anytime the soldiers of Fox News start beating their drum of hate, they always answered the threat of racism with “it’s because I love my country!”  Now, replace that phrase with “put it on my Ivory Visa!”  Here’s how it works.

“Sir, what do you mean you think the President wasn’t born in the United States and was actually born in Africa? Are you being racist?” Answer. “Put it on my Ivory Visa.”

Let’s try it again.

“I don’t want to go on a lynching party against Michelle Obama unless there’s evidence, hard facts, that say this is how the woman really feels. If that’s how she really feels — that America is a bad country or a flawed nation, whatever — then that’s legit.”  - Bill O’Reilly

“Mr. O’Reilly, are you a racist?” Answer. “Nope, put it on my Ivory Visa.”

Nice huh? But, like any credit card, a payment is due. I saw payments being made over the holidays. When the aircraft carrying the “Christmas Bomber”, I heard the payments being called in 24-7! “See! I told you he was soft on terrorism!” See what happens when you elect…..!”

Or just this week, when Senator Harry Reid had to answer for racial statements made during the campaign, I heard more payments being made. “See! They’re racist just like…wait”

14 months ago I had forced my sarcastic, pessimistic side to take a seat. It appears that even though newspapers around the world had proclaimed “IT’S OVER” when it regarded racism in American politics, the game has just begun. And just like any televised sporting event in the United States, it needs a sponsor.

Visa Maybe?

Advertisement