Meg and Me

I admit, like most Michiganders, I am ultra sensitive when it comes to my hometown of Metro Detroit. A good friend of mine once told me “Seriously Jimmy, people in Texas called, they get it, you’re proud of Detroit and Michigan” It’s very difficult to describe the loyalty that flows through our veins and hearts. From sports teams, to manufacturing, to random facts like having the only state regulated hot dog, it’s safe to say we’re a tad bit nutty. Most people run from negative vibes that come from their city. We embrace it. It’s easy to find “Detroit. Where the weak are killed and eaten” t-shirts in retail stores.

We are very much a hypocritical breed of folk. You can find a couple guys from Michigan complaining about how cold it is, how the Lions are terrible, or how things are economically depressed, at many local bars. But if you’re not from Michigan and you agree, we’re driving to your house, punching your dog, and breaking your grandmother’s favorite vase. Sorry, those are the rules.

I currently reside in Fresno, CA. I don’t fit in here. I never have. The lack of sarcasm and a militant style of debate makes my blood boil. There are more churches than 24 hour diners. Not that I don’t like churches, but it would be nice to have coney dog at 4am before I went to ask for forgiveness later that morning.

In 1989, Michael Moore directed and starred in his first documentary called Roger and Me. With sarcasm and irony, Moore portrays the regional negative economic impact of General Motors CEO Roger Smith’s summary action of closing several auto plants in Flint, Michigan, costing 30,000 people their jobs at the time (80,000 to date) and economically devastating the city.

As an eleven year old kid, I really couldn’t comprehend the story or the meaning behind the film. I couldn’t understand why this guy was so upset and gung ho about talking to a man named Roger. Obviously, as I’ve gotten older, I understood the story line, the venom, and issues. Like him or not, I’ve always enjoyed Moore’s style.

Something happened yesterday that both made me angry and excited at the same time. Republican billionaire gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman was In the Imperial County town of El Centro, she said, unemployment is 35%. Then Whitman asked a newspaper’s editorial board whether they had been to the Central Valley lately, adding, “Fresno looks like Detroit. It’s awful.”

To quote a famous pro wrestling announcer Jim Ross, the first thing that went through my mind was “BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!”. Nothing angers Fresnans more than being compared to something negative. I could hear them in my head. “She said what? Detroit? Doesn’t she know how many churches we have?” I laughed to myself and then calmed myself down. I was sure Meg would get a pass in this conservative pocket of the People’s Republic of California.

Boy was I wrong. My phone starting ringing off the hook. Friends and business associates starting complaining to me as if I was Detroit’s ambassador to Fresno. “Jim, what the hell? Did she really say that? We gotta do something!” It was great! I hadn’t felt this sort of outrage since Armando Galarraga was robbed of his perfect game this past spring.

Now, obviously when someone uses my hometown as a punch line, as I previously stated, “it’s go time”. But this was different. What Meg has done has given the people of Fresno an opportunity to rise up and follow her “Moore” style. Asking the proper questions like “What’s the murder rate in Detroit compared to Fresno Meggers??!”,”Detroit lost an entire industry to mismanagement and greed, all Fresno needs is more water. Is that the same Captain Meg?” or my personal favorite “I’ll SEE YOU IN THE PARKING LOT!!”.

I am looking forward to the next few days of spin and backtracking. I’m sure Fresno will vote for her anyway. But a part of me is hoping that she sees one person in the crowd with the t-shirt that says “BEWARE! I know people in Detroit.”

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